Have a crappy day.

I am trying to stop greeting people by saying, “Hi, how are you?” It has become such a trope, hasn’t it? For one thing, people are not going to tell you how they really are. And most of us don’t really want to know how another person is doing. We say it, and then we basically don’t stick around for the answer—physically, energetically, or emotionally.

It’s not that I don’t care how people are doing. But generally speaking, the times when I might casually ask “How are you?” are not really the best times for people to tell me how they truly are. So, by asking during a casual greeting, I am essentially requesting them to lie, or at least not be truthful, and instead they are compelled to say “Great,” even if they are falling apart inside.

And now, I really want to know: Are you falling apart inside? This time of year is not easy for many. We feel like we have to go around with big smiles on our faces, post about all the amazing things we are doing for the holidays, and pretend we’re as happy as we’re expected to be. Even if we are falling apart.
I was fortunate to hear Oriah Mountain Dreamer read her poem called The Invitation in person. It has stayed with me for decades. I have read it in classes many times, and each time I think, “YES! This is how to show up.” So, I offer it again to everyone who is reading this, so you know that you don’t have to show up “Great.” Your showing up as you really are makes it possible for me to show up as I really am too. I will thank you for that. I will thank you for letting me have a crappy day if it is my turn. I will thank you for allowing me to have an amazing day if it’s my turn. And if I tell you how I’m doing—if you are asking for real—you can trust that my answer will be honest. Let’s either ask for real, or not ask at all. Well, at least that is what I am attempting to do. (I will admit, it is not so easy to remember… )

And by the way, if you are falling apart inside- get outside, reach out to someone, either to ask for help or to offer help. Both will work. Join a community where the energy of the group is uplifting, because you will rise with that. It’s not selfish, it is part of the thing the community is there for.
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You are worthy, you do deserve it, you will add to it. Even if it happens to be your turn to have a crappy day.