Rewriting the Narrative: What We Tell Ourselves Matters

Lately, I’ve been noticing something—something that’s likely not new but still worth reflecting on. We all tend to define ourselves in rigid ways, often inaccurately. It’s frustrating when others put us in a box, assigning us traits or limitations we don’t agree with. But have you ever noticed how often you do this to yourself?
I see this in students and clients all the time. I’ll suggest a pose, and immediately, someone might say, “That’s not going to work for me” or “I can’t do that.” But then, with focus and attention, they do it—and not only that, sometimes they love it.
What we say to ourselves matters. Our words shape our experience, whether we speak them aloud or not. And often, those words don’t even originate from us. They might be echoes of a parent, a sibling, a teacher, or even an old bully. Yet, every time we repeat them, we reinforce them, manifesting them into reality.
A simple example: when I walk my dog, I’m far more anxious approaching another dog than my husband or son is. If I’m holding the leash and thinking, This isn’t going to go well, it doesn’t. But if I hand the leash over before that thought takes hold, everything unfolds more smoothly. Who do you want holding your leash? We know the saying “Animals can smell fear” and they literally can. Just as we can project scent, we project other kinds of energy as well. And that energy affects how we see ourselves as well as how others see us. The word or thought is creating an environment, and that environment will uphold the energy that has created it, whether negative, neutral or positive.
Why not give it a shot? It only takes the ability to remember and observe. That’s actually a big step—just noticing, observing, that you’re doing it. I would even say that’s the first step. We have to recognize it before we can change the narrative, and most of us are saying these things to ourselves without any conscious awareness.
It can feel like an awkward stage—realizing that we’re saying things to ourselves that we wouldn’t accept from someone else. And at first, all we can do is listen and hear it. But as the practice develops, we gain the ability to replace that narrative with something new.
This isn’t just a modern idea. The Yoga Sutras address it directly—check out Chapter 2, Sutra 33. Patanjali speaks to this exact practice: replacing negative thoughts with their positive counterparts. It’s a simple yet profound shift.
So why not try it? The next time you catch yourself saying, I can’t, pause. Observe. And maybe—just maybe—rewrite the script.


Let me know what you discover.