The real deal

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner! While it’s often dismissed as a “Hallmark holiday,” its origins run much deeper. Though the exact beginnings remain unclear, several stories connect this day of love and affection to ancient traditions of expressing endearment.

One of the most well-known legends ties the holiday to St. Valentine, a priest martyred by Emperor Claudius II in the 3rd century. According to tradition, Valentine defied the emperor’s ban on marriage by secretly performing weddings for soldiers. Another tale suggests he healed a jailer’s blind daughter and signed a note to her “From your Valentine”—a phrase that has lasted for centuries.

Even if the holiday feels a bit cliché (my husband likes to call it "amateur hour"), there’s something undeniably valuable about reflecting on our connections with others. These days, individuality often overshadows community. We immerse ourselves in our devices, curate our lives on social media, and focus on self-promotion rather than genuine interaction. We’re quick to share what we’re doing, but how often do we truly ask how others are doing?

The truth is, even with people we’ve known for a long time, finding new ways to connect can be challenging. It requires us to set aside assumptions—what we think we know about them, what we believe they want from us, and what we assume they are willing to give in return. Want a hint on how to gain insight into any of these? Be expansive. Be open. Be (gulp) vulnerable. Yes, it can feel uncomfortable, even scary. But I can almost guarantee the result will be worth it—for both of you.

So why not use this day as an opportunity to show up differently? To tell the people in our lives that they matter, that we appreciate them, and that their presence enriches our world? To truly hear what they have to share and let them know they are understood?

The beautiful thing is that when you show up for someone in this way, you are also showing up for yourself. Nothing is excluded. Maybe this year, Valentine’s Day can be more than just cards and chocolates—it can be a a few moments of real connection.