What does failure mean to you?

Last week, for some reason, I found myself talking about failure in some classes. Usually that means life has quietly handed me a lesson I am beginning to absorb. Something I tried must have failed recently.
One failure I know of taught me a pretty good lesson: sticky rice is not sushi rice.
I tried — twice — to make sticky rice behave like sushi rice. I made it both times using two different recipes, and both times it came out, well… sticky. I didn’t want it that sticky, but sticky rice is sticky rice. The failure of the rice, twice, helped me come to this startling conclusion. So now I know I need to use sushi rice when I want sushi rice.
That may sound like a tiny thing, and may sound obvious to you, but it happened to be part of a dinner I was making for new friends, so naturally it felt oddly important in the moment.
Another thing I may finally be learning after only about 23 years: summer is not the best time for me to schedule lots of workshops.
Every year I enthusiastically put things on the calendar. Every year people are busy traveling, swimming, gardening, visiting family, going to outdoor concerts, and generally doing exactly what I also want to be doing also. So I end up cancelling a bunch of workshops that happened to have taken a tremendous amount of planning and energy.
We can call these recognitions “information” instead of “failures” if we want. This information — that people don’t really register for summer workshops, or that sticky rice cannot be used as sushi rice — can help me make better decisions if I don’t become defeated by the outcome.
I really feel strongly about our failures teaching us, guiding us, and informing us. They help us grow in so many wonderful ways.
Failure has such a harsh and shame-filled reputation, but I am using it quite literally. Something failed to work. That’s all. Not because I did something wrong, or because I was bad, wrong, or inadequate. It just didn’t work out.
And hopefully noticing that, without taking it personally, helps me make wiser choices moving forward. If I turn every failed attempt into a personal flaw, then whatever energy might be available after the attempt will get wasted on self-blame and criticism, or frustration toward other people.
I would much rather spend that energy going to the beach.
Or creating wonderful workshops for all of you to enjoy in the fall.
That said, there are still a few things coming up this summer — and maybe even one or two surprises that will, in fact, show up during the summer months — so stay tuned.