Valentine’s Day is just around the corner! While it’s often dismissed as a “Hallmark holiday,” its origins run much deeper. Though the exact beginnings remain unclear, several stories connect this day of love and affection to ancient traditions of expressing endearment.

One of the most well-known legends ties the holiday to St. Valentine, a priest martyred by Emperor Claudius II in the 3rd century. According to tradition, Valentine defied the emperor’s ban on marriage by secretly performing weddings for soldiers. Another tale suggests he healed a jailer’s blind daughter and signed a note to her “From your Valentine”—a phrase that has lasted for centuries.

Even if the holiday feels a bit cliché (my husband likes to call it "amateur hour"), there’s something undeniably valuable about reflecting on our connections with others. These days, individuality often overshadows community. We immerse ourselves in our devices, curate our lives on social media, and focus on self-promotion rather than genuine interaction. We’re quick to share what we’re doing, but how often do we truly ask how others are doing?

The truth is, even with people we’ve known for a long time, finding new ways to connect can be challenging. It requires us to set aside assumptions—what we think we know about them, what we believe they want from us, and what we assume they are willing to give in return. Want a hint on how to gain insight into any of these? Be expansive. Be open. Be (gulp) vulnerable. Yes, it can feel uncomfortable, even scary. But I can almost guarantee the result will be worth it—for both of you.

So why not use this day as an opportunity to show up differently? To tell the people in our lives that they matter, that we appreciate them, and that their presence enriches our world? To truly hear what they have to share and let them know they are understood?

The beautiful thing is that when you show up for someone in this way, you are also showing up for yourself. Nothing is excluded. Maybe this year, Valentine’s Day can be more than just cards and chocolates—it can be a a few moments of real connection.

Here is another thing I wanted to share from my self-retreat earlier this month: I reached a level of stillness I had never experienced in over 30 years of practicing yoga.

You might say, "Well, after 30 years, it’s about time!" But it wasn’t just the culmination of decades of chipping away at roaming thoughts. A large part of this stillness came from the retreat’s environment. It wasn’t a glamorous, tropical setting with mangoes fresh off the trees, daily oil massages, and 10 hours of asana practice. Quite the opposite, actually. Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of traveling to turquoise waters and doing yoga all day, but let’s call those what they are: vacations with a yoga emphasis. They’re lovely, but they’re not retreats in the traditional sense.

For my retreat, I stayed in a high-rise apartment building at the shore, completely alone. My meals were simple and repetitive: kitchari, dal, and sautéed spinach. Each day, I walked by the ocean, battling 40 mph winds and temperatures in the 20s. I spent about five hours a day on the couch in meditation practice, with the remaining time divided between watching pre-recorded videos from my teacher, cooking, and resting. My asana practice was minimal. I wore the same clothes every day, disengaged from all media (except for the Weather Channel), and read only Yoga Vashistha. My one indulgence? A daily hot bath—a rare luxury for me.
The setup was stark, yet intentional. The external quiet allowed for internal quiet. Finding the mind’s on/off switch is daunting in the midst of family, friends, work—basically, life. That switch is buried beneath to-do lists, distractions, and desires. Attempting to still the mind amidst life’s chaos is like stepping into a highway’s fast lane, waving your arms at a speeding truck, and shouting, “STOP!” No matter how much the truck driver wants to stop, the laws of physics prevail. You will be flattened. Similarly, the physics of the mind’s momentum often win out in our busy lives. Finding stillness in the fast lane is mostly impossible.

Now, a few weeks post-retreat, I’m already wondering when I can retreat again. Until then, I’m seeking to weave stillness into my everyday life—with family, friends, and work. The stillness I touched during the retreat has left a lasting imprint. Even when I’m not still, I remember that I can be. I remember what it felt like, what it tasted like. That memory alone—that it’s possible—is powerful. I doubt I will ever forget it, even in moments when stillness feels out of reach.

If you are interested in stepping out of the fast lane for a bit, take a look at the retreat opportunity in the Berkshires the end of February. If you can’t carve out that much time, the Monday evening class, Mantra, Mudras and Chakras is a good option, as is the Restore and Renew coming up at the end of the month. Get those moments of stillness when you can, even if they are not complete, it is a start. 

This January 1st marks the beginning of my 23rd year running a yoga studio in Frenchtown. Reflecting on who I was when I first opened Yoga Loka and who I am now, I’m struck by the profound transformations that have taken place. It reminds me of the shifting topography around me—the changing landscape of my body, the evolving climate, and the rapid advances in technology. Everything changes, as it always does.
Early on, I realized that one thing needing transformation was my perception of success. Before opening Yoga Loka, I was already running a small business, but turning yoga into a business brought an entirely new set of challenges. Yoga, at its core, teaches non-attachment—a sharp contrast to the realities of running a business where bills must be paid, and doors must remain open.
The bigger challenge, though, wasn’t balancing spreadsheets but quieting the persistent ego-mind whispering, “You have to do better.” Over the years, this has become a focal point of my practice: understanding how this voice influences my actions as a businessperson and learning to loosen its grip.
When attendance is lower than I expect, I remind myself of a simple truth: those who need to be here are here. My dharma is to teach, and all I can do is show up, fully present. If people come, it’s meant to be. If they don’t, that’s also meant to be.
I can confidently say that my decades of practice—30-plus years of wrestling with the ego-mind—are working. Sure, maturity and age might play their part, but the once-daunting “demon of too much/too little” no longer wins every match. What used to feel like bloody, knock-down, drag-out battles have softened into something closer to thumb wrestling—irritating but manageable. That’s what 22 years of consistent practice can do: attend to the desire for freedom with devotion and patience, and transformation will follow.
To everyone who has been part of this journey—those who have attended classes and even those who haven’t—you’ve all been part of my practice. Your presence (or absence) has shaped my sadhana.
I’m especially grateful for the ongoing transformation of how I measure success: shifting from bottom-line thinking to focusing on service. It’s a work in progress—things are still in flux, and I’m still practicing. But I hope that as participants in this journey, you’ve received as much as I have.
Here’s to continuing the practice, embracing change, and walking this path together.

Feeling Overwhelmed?If you’re finding it hard to focus, feeling weighed down by stress or anxiety, struggling to remember things like you used to, or feeling helpless and unsatisfied with the state of the world, it might be time to explore the spiritual aspects of yoga.

While physical self-care is essential (and yoga postures, or asanas, are fantastic for this), yoga goes beyond just the body. The ancient yogis teach us that we are comprised of multiple “bodies” or sheaths, known as koshas. These layers include:

• The Physical Body (Annamaya Kosha): It's obvious when this needs attention—stiffness, pain, or decreased strength and mobility are clear signs.
  
  
• The Energetic Body (Pranamaya Kosha): A lack of energy is one indicator, but subtle imbalances in this layer can go unnoticed, affecting how we feel and function.
  
  
• The Mental Body (Manomaya Kosha): This layer governs our thoughts and emotions. Stress, intrusive thoughts, inability to focus, and worry are signs it may need support.
  
  

These layers are deeply interconnected. For example, recall an awkward or uncomfortable moment from your recent past. Close your eyes and notice how your body reacts—does your chest tighten? Is your breathing shallow? This demonstrates how the mind influences the body and energy, often in an instant.

Similarly, environments can quickly shift our energy and mind. Imagine walking into a chaotic, crowded store with blaring holiday music. The energy of the space can leave you feeling scattered, and by the time you return home, you’re exhausted and wondering why you bought things you didn’t need.

Why Addressing Stress Holistically MattersIf stress is affecting your body (high blood pressure, low immunity, digestive issues, or sleep problems), exercise can help to a degree. However, using physical activity alone can feel like endlessly bailing water from a leaky boat without fixing the hole. Yoga’s spiritual practices address the root cause, helping you restore harmony across all layers of your being.

Begin Your Journey to Holistic WellnessCan 2025 be the year you "fix your boat" and explore yoga beyond the physical? Dive into the upcoming offerings below and discover practices designed to support not just your body, but also your energy and mind.

We have so many opportunities to enter to the spiritual side of yoga coming up, so take a look at the offerings below and see if anything calls to you.

I am trying to stop greeting people by saying, “Hi, how are you?” It has become such a trope, hasn’t it? For one thing, people are not going to tell you how they really are. And most of us don’t really want to know how another person is doing. We say it, and then we basically don’t stick around for the answer—physically, energetically, or emotionally.

It’s not that I don’t care how people are doing. But generally speaking, the times when I might casually ask “How are you?” are not really the best times for people to tell me how they truly are. So, by asking during a casual greeting, I am essentially requesting them to lie, or at least not be truthful, and instead they are compelled to say “Great,” even if they are falling apart inside.

And now, I really want to know: Are you falling apart inside? This time of year is not easy for many. We feel like we have to go around with big smiles on our faces, post about all the amazing things we are doing for the holidays, and pretend we’re as happy as we’re expected to be. Even if we are falling apart.
I was fortunate to hear Oriah Mountain Dreamer read her poem called The Invitation in person. It has stayed with me for decades. I have read it in classes many times, and each time I think, “YES! This is how to show up.” So, I offer it again to everyone who is reading this, so you know that you don’t have to show up “Great.” Your showing up as you really are makes it possible for me to show up as I really am too. I will thank you for that. I will thank you for letting me have a crappy day if it is my turn. I will thank you for allowing me to have an amazing day if it’s my turn. And if I tell you how I’m doing—if you are asking for real—you can trust that my answer will be honest. Let’s either ask for real, or not ask at all. Well, at least that is what I am attempting to do. (I will admit, it is not so easy to remember… )

And by the way, if you are falling apart inside- get outside, reach out to someone, either to ask for help or to offer help. Both will work. Join a community where the energy of the group is uplifting, because you will rise with that. It’s not selfish, it is part of the thing the community is there for.
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You are worthy, you do deserve it, you will add to it. Even if it happens to be your turn to have a crappy day.

I heard 2 incredible things this week that support this idea that we are so very connected to each other.

First, psychologist and emotions researcher Amit Goldenberg shared a powerful insight: when it comes to helping individuals manage reactive emotions, psycologists are approaching it backward. Instead of focusing on individual emotions, Goldenberg suggests we should examine collective emotions and suggests that’s where real change and regulation can happen.

His research shows that we rarely experience strong emotions on our own. Instead, emotions are amplified when shared within a group. In those collective settings, we often “activate” each other, leading to emotional cascades—where feelings snowball and grow stronger.

What does this mean for us and our contribution to society? For me, it clicked on a spiritual level: your individual state of mind and heart truly matters on a macro level. Each of us is either adding to positive energy in the world—or contributing to negative energy—and we’re all deeply influenced by the collective emotional states that we are surrounded by.

The yogis have been saying this for thousands of years: Be the change you want to see. They also say don't trust your mind.

The second profound thing came from my teacher. She was speaking about experiencing ourselves as part of the whole. Someone asked how to do that, and her answer was beautifully simple:
Focus on your finger. Notice it fully. But now, expand your awareness to include the rest of your body. You’re focusing on one part, yet you’re still aware of the whole. Your finger is just one small part of your whole body. You can hold both perspectives at the same time. (Go ahead, try it, it is a very cool experience!). 

In the same way, we can focus on our individual self (our finger) while remaining connected to the greater Self—the universe (our body). Non of us believe we are just a finger, we know our finger is part of something greater. What our finger does, or doesn't do, is going to affect the rest of the body.

Both of these concepts circle back to the yogic wisdom that we are not separate. What happens to you happens to me, and what happens to me happens to all. This isn’t just something to understand intellectually—it’s something we must know, deep in our being.

Getting to that place of knowing takes time, practice, and patience. But in the meantime, we can look for the moments when we already feel it:

• When we experience empathy for someone’s suffering.
• When we feel joy over someone victory.
  
  

We can also explore what blocks us from feeling that connection. It might seem like it’s just a lack of direct relationship or understanding, but don’t jump to conclusions too quickly. There might be more to it than that. We are after all encoded with the ignorance that tells us we are seperate, and we must protect our self-interest at all costs. This will show up differently for each individual, and for those of us who want to drop the veil of that ignorance, we need to see it each and every time it arises.

Now more than ever, we need to recognize that we’re all in this together. We’re all having ups and downs, joys and sufferings, and that is influencing the whole, just as we are being influenced by the collective. The more we see that, the less we can take it “personally.” In doing so, we reduce the pollution of individual identities and create space for collective harmony.

A couple of weeks ago, I took a 6-day road trip with my kids. Long hours in the car every day—you know how draining that can be! I packed my yoga mat, fully intending to practice daily. Well, that worked for day one. After that, I couldn’t quite fit it in. I managed a bit of joint-freeing work, but once my schedule slipped, it stayed off track.
Between all the sitting, couch sleeping, and less-than-ideal food choices, I wasn’t surprised to find that when I returned to a Thursday mini-flow, I felt out of shape. I struggled to keep up with my own pace! My body felt mostly fine, but my cardiovascular system and arm strength were noticeably weaker than when I left. It’s fascinating how a mere six days away made such an impact—perhaps a sign of aging.
They say our physical peak happens between 30 and 35, and after that, it’s a gradual decline. According to WebMD, aging introduces two challenges: dynapenia, a loss of strength, and sarcopenia, a loss of muscle tissue. How can we prevent these from affecting our quality of life? The answer is exercise!
At 58, I’m in pretty good shape for my age, but it’s still interesting to notice how my body changes, and seemingly faster than before. I know my husband and I have benefited greatly from consistent yoga. At 74, his doctor always asks if he can still walk up a flight of stairs, and he always answers with a smile, “I do five flights regularly!”
As we age, staying away from physical practice has a greater impact, just like healing and recovery take longer. The good news? Coming back to your practice—whether after days or weeks—is always better than staying away. Sure, it’s easy to get frustrated when you notice a loss of strength or flexibility. But if you focus on what you're gaining during practice instead of what you’ve lost, there’s so much more to celebrate.
Next week, my husband and I are traveling again, and this time, I plan to make sure my travel mat gets plenty of use!

If you were in class this weekend, you may have heard me talk about the "peace pool." I like to imagine it as a vast reservoir of peaceful energy that we can either contribute to or draw from. When we need peace, it’s reassuring to know we can pull from this pool. And let’s be honest, we all have moments when we're running low. But just as important, when we're feeling grounded, calm, and truly at peace, we can make a deposit, contributing to the collective well-being of others.
Does it really work like this? Think about how you feel in the presence of a positive, happy person—it lifts your spirits, doesn’t it? On the other hand, spending time with a negative person can leave you feeling drained. Why? Because we all radiate energy, and that energy inevitably impacts those around us. Sometimes, we can even tap into energy from afar.


Last night, for example, I was in Asbury Park when Bruce Springsteen was playing a huge concert. I didn’t have tickets, and truthfully, I don’t know much of his music (I grew up in the Bronx during the disco era, and then moved on to New Wave—so there was no "Boss" in my early life, nothing personal Bruce!). The excitement in the air was contagious—people were dancing in the streets, and the joy was palpable. Even without being inside the venue, I could feel the happiness and energy radiating through the entire town. It was like I was bathed in the peace pool without even trying.
So how do we give more to the peace pool? We start by engaging in activities that bring us inner peace. And how do we receive from it? Through gratitude and devotion. When we focus on these, we’re immediately plunged into the pool, and what's beautiful is that even when we take, we find ourselves giving right back almost instantly.


We have some upcoming events that will help you dive deeper into this peace pool. Guided meditation with Deb is a sure way to experience how giving from the heart brings more peace into your life. The upcoming workshop with Alex and Sarah will fill you with wonder and ease, while the Divine Feminine event will guide you toward reconnecting with your innate source of joy.
TRE helps to clear blockages so you can see that you are actually IN the peace pool.
Check out the upcoming workshops and let yourself be immersed in this beautiful and beneficial pool of peace!

My teacher Mukunda often reminded us that one of the best paths to higher consciousness is asking good questions. In the Yoga Sutras, this is known as Svadhyaya, or self-study. Mukunda would challenge us to ask ourselves an essential question: "Is what I am doing giving me what I want?" This question is powerful, and its true depth is revealed only when we sincerely apply it to ourselves.
What question could you ask yourself that might lead to an awakening? A full yoga practice—whether through asana, meditation, or mindfulness—offers a fertile ground for self-inquiry. For mindfulness, the question might be as simple as, "Am I aware right now?" In meditation, we could ask, "Am I lost in my monkey mind, or am I focused on my intended object—whether a mantra, a candle flame, or the breath?" During asana, we might consider, "Is this pose causing harm (himsa) or is it sattvic (harmonious)?" If the pose is causing harm, we can then ask, "Do I want to create harm in my own body, or would I rather cultivate santosha (contentment) through a more harmonious practice?"

Can you see the progression? By asking ourselves simple questions, we open the door to deeper inquiries that can lead to moments of enlightenment—if we are paying attention. Mukunda emphasized that discovering our own truth is the most healing aspect of a yoga practice, and he believed that this truth is the key to its therapeutic power.

We have a choice: we can follow the path of inquiry as it builds a structure leading to true awareness, or we can stop at the surface, claiming we already know the answers, and remain stuck in patterns that may cause our own suffering. To build a structure of higher consciousness, we must avoid limiting responses like "I already know this," "I completely understand," or "This is as good as it gets." These statements cut off the path to deeper questioning and prevent us from constructing a stronger, more stable foundation that leads to wisdom. Instead, try flipping these statements to questions like this: "What don't I know about this?" "Is there more to understand?" "Can this be better?" The less we rush to find answers, the more we will truly understand. This is the difference between knowledge and wisdom.
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This fall we have plenty of workshops that will help you ask better questions, whether they are about your asana practice (Yoga Immersion, Restore and Renew, Yoga Basics), what you mind is doing (Meditation, TRE) and if you are truly being mindful (well, all of the workshops really).

check out the workshops here

What question will you start with?  

I like to share some of the realizations that have arisen from my yoga practice because I believe documenting them is important. I think it also helps to counter, if even a little bit, how yoga attainments are portrayed in mainstream media (e.g., floating handstands, extreme range of motion, complicated transitions- all body oriented). I hope these insights might assist others in recognizing their own attainments, which may not be as obvious as finally finding balancing in a headstand or tree for example.

Here is my latest report- I was with some good friends over the weekend and during the time we spent together I was able to notice when I was “eating air”. “Eating air” is a phrase I came up with during a home retreat to describes the times I am not present. The content of the retreat gave me to ability to see how, even when I was hungry for connection and presence, I was gulping in nothing (distraction and busyness) as if it could possibly satiate. Most of us are hungry for the sweetness of presence, but instead we follow distractions, eat air, and remain hungry.

Why eat air when there is so much wonderful food right in front of you? There are many reasons we do this, and perhaps one of the biggest reasons is because we don’t actually realize we are doing it. It may seem obvious gulping huge quantites of air will not satisfy a hunger, but I am here to report that I eat a lot of air! I also eat a lot of food, and I notice that when I am eating something I really like, the first and the last bites are the best. The first bite is exciting and gets the juices going. The last one I tend to savor because I know it is the last one. It is hard for me to stay present to the deliciousness of the bites inbetween. They are sometimes just filler, and I might as well just be eating air. This weekend my observer mind (which I am continuously seek to strengthen through practice) was telling me loudly when I was eating air. This observation gave me a chance to wake up and be present. It was a gentle, proverbial and constant, slap in the face.

Even though I was getting slapped again and again I was kind of excited because I had all of these chances to wake up. When I was able to notice I was not present, I was able bring myself back to enjoying the finely prepared meal in front of me- each and every bite.

This waking up can be practiced in asana class quite effectively. If you do an asana and you are distracted or confused, or in pain (which will then become the main focus) you might loose the nourishing qualities of the pose. If you are comfortable, confident and connected to a pose, you will be fed by that pose on several levels.

Are you “eating air” when you are doing asanas? Or, are you making it toxic for your system? If you forcing a pose to look the way the person next to you is doing it, or you are struggling really hard to “acheive” the pose, you can be making it toxic. It is like when we eat something that is inherently good for us, but we eat too much of it and it makes us sick- the healing food has become poisonous for the system. The pose that should be healing might be causing damage.

We have a few great opportunities to help you achieve “stheerum sukham asanam” (a steady, comfortable yoga pose) this fall. The "Introduction to Yoga" with Sarah will give you a solid foundation for your practice, especially if you're new to yoga and unsure about terms, names, or where to place your feet. When you have the basics down, you can more easily stay present.

If you have been practicing for a while and want to deepen your understanding of yoga, and how your mind can connect to the poses through observation, consider the "Yoga Immersion" starting in October. This immersion is suitable for both beginners and experienced practitioners. It will help you connect mind, body, and energy to the pose, creating a heavenly meal that deeply satisfies. This seminar is an excellent opportunity to nourish yourself at increasingly deeper levels.
Please see below for more information on these sessions:
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